How can you tell between a lie & the truth? How can you tell if the person you cared about & been with for a long time is lying to you? Why evade a question when you can just honestly answer to get it over with? Why start a gossip & you can’t own it up when faced to face with the gossip victim? When confronted, why not take the responsibility if it’s yours?

These are questions bombarding my mind right now. Do you believe in insulting someone else’s intellect when lying to them? I do. It’s kinda hard to accept that you’re being lied to by someone you have grown to trust, love, & care. Do you think a 4-year friendship/relationship is enough to just let a lie pass by? I think once or twice is enough.

I figured I think I am better off alone than be surrounded by people who actually stabs me at the back? Why give genuine friendship when you end up being smothered by malicious stories that you don’t even know about?

I am saddened by the situation I am in. Probably just a bit different, but all the same feeling. Brokenhearted? Probably. Disappointed? YES. And that’s a big yes. Betrayed? Maybe.

So, again, I question how do you mend a broken heart? How do you build trust if one had lost it? How can a person change for the better if he cannot let go of the past? What does it take for a person to change for the betterment of his future? How can one let go of his vices? How can one change his paradigm? Is there a certain standard, or system, or a step-by-step process to change one’s self? Maybe not totally changing the whole you, but reassessing the YOU inside?

How many people have reached this kind of maturity & to how many people had they shared this experience? How many promises should be broken so one person can learn?

I still do not understand the workings of the heart, & the mind. I still cannot reason why God has let these things happen. I still cannot solve the mystery behind life. Why do I feel alone? So empty, yet I try to so hard to fill the void in my heart with people. People who doesn’t even care if you exist. People who doesn’t even care if you are hurt or not. People who lie because they want to lie. People who lie because they need to lie. People who breaks the friendship I thought there was. I surround myself with material things. But they are just material things that we cannot bring in to the next life.

Do I pray? Yes, I do. But it isn’t enough, maybe. I have to ask myself several times what do I see in my faith why I still hold on to it. Why I still hold on to God. The God that I cannot see or feel physically. Is this faith? Probably. I know God is out there somewhere. Believe me, I am no Aethist. I will defend God & his Words no matter what. There are just times that I ask Him. For whatever’s going on & why I am experiencing it.

I hope that in time, things will go right again. They say life is not a fairytale. I say, it can be, if we are only willing to take on each other’s crosses & give way to each other as much as we can. That way, we take advantage of each other in a good way.